Normally I don’t mind living alone, as a matter of fact, most of the time I enjoy it. Much better than living with the wrong person!
However, after almost a year of Covid 19 restrictions, basically 4 months of no transportation because of issues with me car, and a bad case of THE VIRUS, where I have been isolated now for almost 3 weeks…….well, its just too much aloneness even for me.
My worst enemy …..my own thoughts, have started getting the better of me. The devil uses times like these to fill your head with lies. I wish I could say that I have not given into them, but not so. I have been talking to Jesus a lot. Sometimes, I’ve even yelled at Him, asking Him where He was in the midst of all of this pain, questioning His love and promises. I’m not proud of any of this, but it is the truth. I guess you could say that I have been experiencing a faith crisis. The kind where you have to dig deep to find out what you truly believe, not just living off of the fluff. I have been getting into the Bible to find out who God really is, not just who I want Him to be. Maybe this is the “good” that He will bring out of my misery and pain. If I do get to know the real God and have a closer relationship with Him, then it was worth it.
